Intensity of Empathetic Listening: Why Your Decision Matters
I can understand!
How many times have we heard these words, spoken quickly and often without much thought? Every time I confide in a friend about my troubles, I hear these 3 words but they often feel hollow.
For the longest time, I have believed that it was just formality, more of a way to fill the silence without really understanding anything. Ultimately, it made me question what has been missing all this while – empathy!
The sad truth is – most of us listen just to respond rather than truly empathize and connect with the other person. In my opinion, understanding the depth and intensity of empathetic listening matters as it can completely transform our relationships for the better.
What is Empathetic Listening?
Imagine sitting down with someone who not only hears you out but also feels the emotions behind them. This is precisely what empathetic listening is and it goes beyond the surface.
Stephen R. Covey, the author of “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” says, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” If you understand the meaning of these words and try to observe the same around you, you will find empathy and understanding lacking somewhere.
I mean, how often do we prepare our next line while the other person is still speaking? How often are we truly present in the moment while listening to the other person?
How do you remind yourself to stay empathetic with others? Share in the comments! #Empathy #Relationships #Listening #Quotes pic.twitter.com/20y6AzxFaF
— Stephen R. Covey (@StephenRCovey) January 9, 2022
In my experience, I have noticed that when you genuinely listen to someone, the quality of your interpersonal communication improves. The person will feel more valued and understood, not just heard. You will feel on the same page with them and operate on the same frequency. In fact, studies suggest that empathetic listening can lead to better outcomes in almost everything – from personal relationships to professional life.
Elements of Empathetic Listening
What makes empathetic listening so challenging but rewarding? It actually demands a lot of self-awareness and self-control – basically 3 most important elements:
- Active listening: Think about it – when was the last time you truly felt heard? As if the other person is not just there because they are supposed to be but they actually know how to care? This happens when the person isn’t just waiting to speak but actively participating in what you are expressing. Basically, when a person doesn’t possess good listening skills – being able to understand words but not the emotions behind them that really makes you feel connected.
- Non-verbal communication: Our body language can often tell more than our words ever could. Even the slightest cues like a nod, a slight lean forward, or maintaining eye contact are extremely powerful. They tell us that we have an empathetic approach and are paying attention. I remember having this conversation where a friend’s body mirrored my own while I was speaking about a sad experience. I felt as if they were trying to feel what I was feeling through their gestures, which made me feel their presence on a deep level.
- Holding space: There are times when you just want a safe environment where you can express yourself without any judgment. Words like, “Take your time, and here to listen,” can work wonders because this space makes you comfortable enough to speak freely without any hurry or pressure.
Intensity of Empathetic Listening in Decision Making
Have you ever wondered why some decisions feel just right? This is because those decisions are based on understanding people and not just facts. When you use empathetic listening, you really get where others are coming from. It means that your decisions are informed by not just what you think but what others feel and need. Pretty important, right?
Now, think about this: Have you ever changed your mind because someone just got you? That’s empathetic listening in action. By really hearing and paying attention to what others are saying and feeling, you get a complete picture and not just a part of it.
Impact of Empathy on Decision-Making
So, how is empathy related to the decision-making process? Well, this is where it gets real. Decisions made with empathy are just the right moves because they consider the real impacts on people. As Daniel Goleman puts it aptly, “A prerequisite to empathy is simply paying attention to the person in pain.” It shows that being present in mindfulness can make any interaction more fruitful and meaningful!
This holds even more relevance in the professional setting. Speaking from personal experience, I can say empathy makes it much easier to work with each other in a team. When you are in a decision-making situation, conflicts are bound to happen. But if everyone is being empathetic towards each other, It gets really easy to calm tensions and build a sense of understanding. This is why instead of reacting defensively or misunderstanding each other, teams can use these moments as opportunities to really listen and learn from one another.
Develop Empathetic Listening Skills in Relationships
While the whole idea of being empathetic as a listener sounds all too good, it’s important to keep a few things in mind to develop this skill. Let’s take a look at some practical and really effective tips that work wonders!
Practice – Practice – Practice!
Active listening requires you to fully Concentrate on what is being said rather than just passively hearing the words. This is where giving your undivided attention becomes important so that you can understand the other person’s feelings and viewpoints.
When someone is opening up to you, put away any distractions, make eye contact, and nod – this will make them feel validated. If you have never worked on, or are still working on developing good listening skills, you might need to break the pattern and practice this more often.
Ask Open Ended Questions
One of the most effective techniques to develop empathy in relationships that I have heard of and applied is asking open-ended questions. So how do they work? I remember when I started practicing this during my conversation, the shift was real.
Instead of asking yes/no questions like “Did that upset you?” I began asking, “How did that situation make you feel?” At first, I was a bit unsure but that actually made the other person feel more free and helped me understand their experiences on a deeper level.
Psychologist Carl Rogers, an expert in developing therapeutic techniques involving deep listening, emphasizes the power of such questions for effective communication. By using open-ended questions, you give more space to the other person where they can express themselves without any filter or assumption. This eventually helps to build a stronger connection as it makes the other person feel you are genuinely interested in their perspective without rushing to any judgment or conclusion.
Reflect and Clarify
Impactful decision making depends a lot on your self-reflection and clarity. While we all have our own definitions of self-reflection and clarity, its relevance in the context of decision-making is a bit different. This involves listening to the other person’s words and then paraphrasing them back to ensure you are understanding and validating.
However, as someone who has improved the intensity of empathetic listening over time, I can say it seems simple but needs a lot of practice. This will not only confirm that you are carefully listening but also give the other person a chance to correct any misunderstanding in your interpretation.
Non-Verbal Cues Matter
These are often just as informative as the words you speak. Albert Mehrabian’s research highlights that in face-to-face communication, 55% of the message is conveyed through nonverbal elements, 38% is voice tone and only 7% are the actual words spoken. Due to this finding, a lot of people still believe that a major part of communication is nonverbal.
Paying attention to these cues can make a whole lot of difference in your communication skills. For example, your friend might say they’re “fine,” but if they are sitting with crossed arms and flashing a hesitant smile, it’s a sign they’re not comfortable and actually not fine. Sadly, we all have been there, haven’t we?
Empathy in Daily Conversations
BrenĂ© Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, suggests that empathy isn’t only for moments of great pain or joy but is also important in everyday interactions. According to him, it’s important to think about how empathy affects how we feel every day. When we pay attention to people’s feelings in day-to-day conversations – maybe when a friend is a little upset or a family member is quietly happy – we connect better with them.
Once you start incorporating empathy in decision making, even small ones, you will gradually feel those interactions turning into meaningful connections. For instance, responding with genuine interest to someone’s story about their morning might sound trivial, but it will make them feel that their experiences are valued – and that they are important!
Final Words
The intensity of empathetic listening in your daily conversation can completely change things for the better. When you choose to listen not just with your ears but heart and mind, you are not only improving your relationship but also enhancing your own emotional well-being. So, make sure to be mindful of your reaction while listening to someone. This understanding reflects the importance of your decisions deeply – and an act that is both a responsibility and a privilege in itself! If you find this article helpful, please hit the bell icon đŸ”” to get more valuable content updates from LearnReal.in.
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